I Need My Girl
by Lynyrd Lionheart
Summary: Hook is ready to die, but he really would enjoy the company of someone other than Will Scarlet. Emma, on the other hand, is determined that her pirate won't die. Even if that means she has to kill Mr. Gold.
1. I know I was a lot of things

**AN: Just a little speculation on how Killian could get his heart back. Includes slight spoiler from the 4x10 synopsis.**

**I know I was a lot of things**

"I've been looking for you."

Killian cursed at the sight of the cocky thief charging toward him. Of all the people he had thought to avoid, this _Will Scarlet_ hadn't been on the list. But there he was, fists clenched and fire in his eyes.

"Lovely to see you mate, coming from trying to rob the library again?"

Killian hardly had time to drawl out his reply before a fist came in contact with his jaw. He reeled back, pain exploding along his nerves.

"Bloody hell!" he cursed, his hand coming up to cradle his face. Scarlet looked ready to punch again, but this time Killian was ready and dodged the attack with another muttered curse. He wasn't in the mood for this. He had just finished delivering Henry to the Dark One, and now he had planned on returning to the dock to wait out the rest of the curse. It turned out that, without his heart, he wasn't capable of seeing the beauty in the world anyway, so the bloody curse had left him all but unaffected.

But Scarlet was very much affected… and had apparently decided to take his cursed anger out on Killian.

"You deserve that, you wanker," Scarlet snarled, taking another swing that Killian once again dodged. "You deserve that and everything else I give you. Running around beating blokes faces bloody without a thought. What would your sheriff think if she found out?"

_Emma_. The thought of her sent a pang through Killian's non-existent heart. He hadn't realized how strongly he'd felt for her, not until he'd lost his heart and still the longing for her remained. His Emma, whom he would never see again. He had promised her he would survive, but even Captain Hook had an expiry date and the Dark One would be sure he met his.

"I imagine she'd be quite angry," Killian said in response to Scarlet's question. "Why don't you run along and tell her?"

It would be best if the thief did, he decided. Tell Emma about their interaction outside the library. Let her find out about the hat, about the Crocodile, about all of it. Then she would hate him. She would hate him and be happy he was gone, no need to mourn for a one handed pirate with a drinking problem. Killian wanted her to hate him, because it was far better than the alternative.

He didn't want to cause her pain.

"Oh no. I'm not telling the sheriff _anything_. You'll tell her," Scarlet said, getting right in his face. "You'll tell her and I'll laugh when she realizes what a fool she was to trust a pirate."

"Get out of my face, Scarlet," Killian replied, his voice almost pleasant. Enough is enough, and Killian just wanted to leave him behind, to go to the docks and wait out what was left of his time.

The Crocodile had everything he needed, and Killian wondered how much longer he had, before his heart was crushed and it was all ended. He turned away from Scarlet, already forgetting about the thief. It was a foolish thing to do, though, to turn his back on a cursed man with a grudge.

He landed on the ground hard, surprise and all the air being knocked from his lungs rendering him immobile. Then Scarlet flipped him over and began to pound his fist into his face.

"Don't. Turn. Your. Back. On. Me. You. Pirate," he growled, each word split by a punch. Killian groaned in pain, began to lift his arms to defend himself.

Then pain radiated from his chest.

He gave an agonized groan, his arms falling to his sides again. No longer did the pain in his face bother him, instead all of his nerve ends seemed to have settled in his chest. It was agony – made the sensation of having his heart removed seemed harmless. He rolled onto his side, curling into a ball, his hand clutching at his heart. A wave of magic washing over them made Scarlet let him, as the spell of Shattered Sight left him and Will stared first at his fist, then at the pirate, who was all but whimpering on the ground at his feet.

"Hook?" Scarlet asked, somewhat incredulously. "Oh, hell. I've gone and ruined the sheriff's boyfriend."

Under other circumstances, it might have been humorous, hearing the resignation in Scarlet's voice as he realized that Emma would likely want to kill him for turning Killian's face to mush. Killian even allowed himself a moment to enjoy the thought, to picture it as if he would have the chance to see Emma's face again, but then another stab of pain hit and the noise he just managed to muffle was more scream than moan.

"Now you're just milking it," Scarlet informed him, voice sounding utterly unimpressed. Killian tried to muster up the strength to tell him to sod off, had even half turned onto his back so he could look at the boy as he did so, but then another wave of pain came, and he clawed at his chest, this time not quite muffling the scream.

"Shit," Scarlet muttered, and Killian felt him kneel at his side, rolling him onto his back. "Shit. This isn't my punches. Shit. You don't have a bloody heart. Why did you let that happen?"

"Didn't _let_ it," Killian just managed to ground out before pain wracked his body again. The Crocodile must be taking his time with this. There was no other reason it should be taking so long to crush his heart, if it weren't because the Crocodile wanted to take his time. Twisted little man.

"Well… how did the sheriff let it happen? Isn't she supposed to be our Saviour, some paragon of white magic?"

Killian growled, half in pain, half at the implication that Emma had somehow failed him. He managed to glare at Scarlet to cursed again.

"Oh, bugger. She doesn't know, does she? Well what am I supposed to do? Run and tell her that her boyfriend is dying? Hell, she already hates me."

But he looked ready to do just that, to get up and go for Emma, and Killian was pretty sure he saw something approaching empathy in the boy's eyes. He didn't like it, the thought that his last moments would be spent with the thief… but when Scarlet went to get to his feet, Killian reached out and grasped his arm, holding him in place.

"Don't want her to see me die," he grated out in a brief reprieve form the pain.

"Can't save you if she doesn't know," Scarlet pointed out, and Killian shook his head.

"Dark One."

"Ah," realization lit Scaret's eyes and he allowed Killian to pull him back down. "What do you want from me, then?"

Nothing. Everything. Killian didn't know how to respond to the question, because now that he was dying? Hell if he wasn't recalling every reason he had to live.

"Don't want to die alone," he said at last, and Scarlet settled in next to him, that empathy still there, and Killian wondered what had happened to the boy, that he understood so well what was happening to Killian.

"No one ever does," Will agreed simply. "Ever met the Queen of Hearts?"

Killian couldn't speak, pain once again spasming through him, so instead he nodded.

"Piece of work, wasn't she old Cora? Taught my Ana everything she knew and twisted her all up inside. Usually the way it works."

Killian said nothing, simply let the sound of Scarlet's voice, talking about Wonderland and a girl named Ana and another named Alice and how they had both saved and destroyed him at different times, wash over him. The only sign that the boy felt any distress over the situation was the way his hand clutched at Killian's arm, so tightly it probably would have hurt, if he'd been able to feel anything but his chest.

At some point, Killian blacked out. He came to again, to hear about Genies and Jabberwocky, things that made no sense, before he floated off again.

And then he thought he heard her voice for a while. Beautiful and filled with tears, and Killian hated it when Emma cried.

"What's wrong with him."

"Dark One has his heart. Man must be sick, to be taking so much time with it."

Killian didn't hear Emma's reply, and he wanted to curse Scarlet, because why did he have to say anything? Couldn't he have just let Emma speak for a while?

"Hold on, Killian," a voice murmured, but it's not Emma's, it's Dave's, and as fond as Killian is of the prince, he doesn't quite understand why he would be hearing his voice in his dying hours.

Then both prince and Emma's voice are gone, and it's Scarlet, this time talking about the days before Wonderland. About Robin and his Merry Men and how somehow, Robin had managed to forgive Will for horrible things. It's a right sign of being a hero, Will states, that forgiveness.

Would Emma ever forgive him? Killian wonders. Part of him hopes not, that she'll hold onto his lies and hate him for the rest of her life, just so she won't feel the pain of his death. Another part wishes she could have granted him absolution before he succumbed to death.

_Emma_… he thinks. It's the one thought he focuses on, as pain rose again and again and he became positive he was reaching his end. _EmmaEmmaEmma._

"Bloody Hell," Scarlet's voice breaks through his fevered thoughts. "Whatever the hell those two have planned, they had better bloody hurry."

The words made no sense to Killian, and then pain worse than any other wracks his body and nothing makes sense. He bows his back of the ground and doesn't bother trying to muffle his screams anymore. They leave his mouth, and he's sure that they are prayers interspersed as well, pleas for it to be done, to _please, please stop it stop!_ Scarlet is there, saying words – comforting maybe, or they could be shouts for help. Killian is deaf to anything but his own screams and the pain in his chest.

It's a nasty death for Captain Hook, as it turned out. No dying with nobility for him. Why would there be? He was nothing but a pirate.

Death looked a lot like Storybrooke.

He blinked up at the sky, blue with fluffy clouds, and he recognized the buildings. Then a man leaned over him, and he recognized Scarlet's big eyes and blinked in confusion.

"Am I in hell?" he asked, his voice gruff and hoarse. He can't think of any other reason for it to be Scarlet he sees, if he's not in hell.

"You're not in hell, bloody wanker," Scarlet replies, and he falls back, his expression looking almost relieved. "You're still alive. Thank the bloody savior."

"Emma," Killian murmured, blinking. He still doesn't have a heart, but his chest feels warm, the pain from earlier rescinding, and he reaches up to press a hand where the organ should be. Emma… she has it. He knows that as surely as he knows his name. No, surely as he knows _her_ name.

"Yeah, yeah. The sheriff to the rescue and all," Scarlet replied, reaching out a hand. Killian allowed him to pull him up, so he's sitting. "I suppose you'll want me to lie to her about all of this or you'll kill me or whatever."

"No," Killian retorted immediately. "No. No more lies. You have a mean right hook, Scarlet."

"So do you," Scarlet said dryly, and Killian found himself chuckling.

"_Killian_!" The voice interrupted whatever sort of moment Pirate and Knave might have been having, because Emma was there and in his arms, and Killian clutched at her like a lifeline, her warmth soaking into him.

"Emma," he breathed, burying his nose in her hair so he could breathe in her scent. "Emma."

She pulled back and cradled his head in her hands. Her eyes darted up and down his form, as though making sure he was okay. Belle and David are with her he realized with surprise. David smiled at him and gave a nod, but Belle looked solemn, her eyes red and swollen from tears.

"Captain-" she began, stepping forward, but Killian shook his head.

"Whatever he did, he did himself, Belle. You played no part in it… but me… Emma, love, I lied to you-"

"Hat that sucks in magical being and blackmail. He told us," Emma replied simply. "And we will be talking about that… but I'm trying something new. It's called trust. And I trust you. I do. And Killian, I thought you were going to die."

Tears tracked down her cheeks, and Killian raised his hand, wiping them away as they fell.

"Don't cry, Emma. Not for me," he said, and Emma surprised him, slamming her fists into his chest, her green eyes sparking with anger through the tears.

"Don't say that. Of course I'm going to cry for you! I love you, you idiotic pirate!"

The confession shocked him to his core, leaving him to stare at her in shock.

"How could you not know that?" Emma demanded, reading his expression and pushing his hair out of his face. "You know everything else about me. When I need you, when I'm hiding something… how could you not know that I love you?"

She doesn't let Killian answer, instead pulling him in by his lapels for a kiss. Killian returns it happily, but she pulls back almost immediately, leaving him frowning.

"No," she declared, shaking her head. "Still not right."

And she lifted a familiar satchel – the one where the Crocodile kept his heart – and pulls it out. They both look at it for a moment, and Killian finds himself luxuriating in the feel of her holding his heart, the warmth it sends through his chest.

"Look at it," she said, her voice soft, just for his ears. "Not a single speck of darkness."

"That's because of you," he returned, and Emma looked up and smiled at him, a beautiful, breathtaking smile. Then she pressed the heart against him, returning it to its rightful place.

"Now," she said, resting her hand over his chest, where his heart beat below her palm. "Let's try this again."

And she kissed him once more, and this time, it was right.

**AN: And if you continue on, you can get Emma's POV on how the actual retrieval of the heart went.**


	2. I keep feeling smaller

**AN: Emma's POV, because I can.**

**I keep feeling smaller**

She hadn't told him she loved him.

To be honest, it hadn't really even crossed her mind. Killian had always just seemed to _know_. To know what she was thinking, to know when she needed him. She knew she loved him, had tried to put every bit of that love into their last kiss, but she hadn't said the words.

And she doesn't know why she's thinking of this now.

The curse has been lifted, and though there is some hesitation between loved ones – horrible, hurtful words had been said, horrible, hurtful things had been done – there is also jubilation. Because the curse is over and the Snow Queen is defeated. They've won another round. Cheers for the good guys! Regina has gone to get Henry, to bring him to the celebration, and her parents are hugging each other and kissing Neal and everything is right in the world.

Emma feels sick to the stomach. She should be ecstatic. The ribbon is gone, her family is safe, and Elsa is reunited with her sister. She should be jubilant… but instead she feels sick. Killian isn't there.

And she hadn't told him she loved him.

She doesn't know why her thoughts keep coming back to that one fact, except that, for some reason, she knows it's important. She knows she should have said those words. Instead she had given him a tearful kiss that held everything she felt and watched him walk away. She had felt something was wrong – his kiss had been different, somehow. Desperate, just like the day in the abandoned manor.

It had been a good-bye kiss. And now he was missing.

And she hadn't told him she loved him.

"Emma?" Elsa asks, and the other blonde's hand on her arm startles Emma out of her thoughts. She had been staring towards the docks, as though, with enough will power, she could will him to her side, could make him appear as she was so used to him doing.

"Killian isn't here," Emma says in answer to the silent question Elsa is asking. Elsa looks around, her brow furrowing as she comes to the realization that the pirate is missing, and then she looks at Emma with a small smile and pats her arm.

"Go to him. I'll explain your absence."

Emma smile at her thankfully and reaches out to squeeze her hand. Despite all the chaos the Snow Queen has caused, she will always be thankful for one thing that came out of it – Elsa, and the friendship she found with her. But now is not the time to think of that.

Emma needs to go get her pirate.

She leaves the celebrating group at a swift walk, but by the time she reaches the docks she is running. Her heart is racing, her blood is pounding in her ears, and she can't seem to catch her breath – and none of it is because of the exertion of getting to the water. Something is wrong. Horribly, terribly wrong, and she can't stop thinking that Killian's last kiss had been a good-bye kiss.

Not the _I'll see you soon_ type of good-bye, but the _forever_ kind.

She hits the docks, only to find them empty. This is where he should be. He had said he would chain himself here, and if even if he hadn't… _this is where he should be_. It's where he always comes, perhaps because the water soothes him, or perhaps because the ocean is all he knows, but any way she looks at it, he should be there.

"Killian?" she calls out, but she doesn't expect an answer. She feels sick again, an oily, dark feeling that starts in her stomach and rises to her heart. Something is wrong here. There was more than just the Spell of Shattered Sight. Something else made him kiss her like that.

Something else is keeping him away from her now.

"Killian…" she says it again, but this time it's quiet – spoken on a breath rather than in a shout. She knows there will be no answer, but part of her hopes that, somehow, saying his name might bring him back to her anyway.

"Emma?"

Her mother's voice makes her spin. Mary Margaret and David are there, Neal nestled in his mother's arms, both of them watching her with worried expressions. Emma stares at them for a moment, then she feels a tear trickle down her cheek, followed by another.

"He's not here," she says, and she hates that she's crying, but that sick feeling won't go away and she doesn't know what to do.

"Oh, Emma," Mary Margaret says, and she passes Neal to David so she can wrap her daughter in her arms. "He'll be fine. Hook is a fighter above all. He's probably already back with the others, looking for you. You would be the first one he looked for."

It's true, of course. As soon as the curse had passed, Killian would have immediately gone for Emma.

That's why this all feels wrong. Because where the hell is he? She reaches for her phone, but her empty pocket reminds her that she hasn't been able to find it since the night she almost gave up her powers.

"Can you call him?" she asks David, and her father doesn't even hesitate before pulling out his phone. She notes how quickly he holds the phone to his ear, at it would almost be amusing, the realization that Captain Hook is on Prince Charming's speed dial, if she weren't so worried about him.

"Voicemail," he says after a moment, dropping the phone to his side with a shake of his head. "Maybe Snow is right. He could be back with everyone else."

But David doesn't believe that, Emma can tell because he's looking just as worried as she's feeling. Snow looks between the two and her expression turns serious as she realizes their worry.

"You two run ahead," she says to them. "Neal and I will follow."

And maybe one of them should stay with Mary Margaret, because this could be the work of a new villain… but Emma's guts are telling her no. That whatever has happened to Killian won't harm her mother, but it very well could harm her pirate, and that _is not_ acceptable.

So Emma takes off, and David is right at her back. They reach the celebration still going on in the street, but Emma hardly has to look to know that Killian isn't there. Elsa catches her eye and when she sees that it's David with her rather than the pirate, her brow furrows again. Emma gives her head a small shake, and then she takes off again.

"Emma, where are we going?" David demands, following her. "We can't just run around blindly!"

Emma knows that, she does. But she's not running blindly… at least she doesn't think she is. She's following her gut, or her heart, or whatever it is that's telling her that she has to _move_ or else she'll lose Killian permanently. So she'll follow that feeling, let it take her where she needs to go. Her family will always find the ones they love.

_And she never got to tell him that she loved him._

Her thoughts are all over the place. The kiss had been different, the kiss had been good-bye. The kiss had been _missing_ something. She knows how Killian kisses, and it had just been _wrong_. She just wishes she knew why.

Her thoughts are interrupted by a half scream that's quickly muffled. She would never expect such a noise to come from Killian, but the way her heart suddenly feels as though it's in her throat, the way her stomach drops and she wants to gag, sends her running towards the sound.

She recognizes Will Scarlet first, the thief is kneeling there, and he's speaking frantically. Stories about Wonderland and Alice (she's real, too?), and a Genie named Cyrus. Emma comes up short for a moment in confusion, before she realizes Will is kneeling next to a form that is moaning in agony, curled in on itself, and she sees the flash of a hook.

_Killian_.

She doesn't even realize she's moving until she's landed on her feet next to Killian's spasming body. He's letting out groans of agony, and she looks up at Will who has stopped speaking to look at her with a tight expression.

"What's wrong with him?" she demands, reaching out to grab the thief by the collar of his shirt. "What the hell is wrong with him?"

"Dark One has his heart," Will replies. Killian lets out another groan and Emma sees his grip on Will tighten, and she wonders how long he's been holding like that, and if the young man is in any pain. He doesn't appear to be. His expression is full of understanding, and Emma feels ill again. Gold has Killian's heart. The one man in the whole of the town that would love to see her pirate suffer, and he has Killian's heart. "Man must be sick, to be taking so much time with it."

David joins Emma at Killian's side, and she looks at him, feeling completely lost. Her father's expression is grim, but he reaches out his hand to grasp hers in reassurance.

"We'll get it back," he says, before looking at Will. "Stay with him?"

"Nowhere better to be," Will replies, and Emma is surprised, because he's telling the truth. Emma gets to her feet, and David leans down, murmurs something she can't quite hear to Killian, then joins her.

"I'll kill him if I have to," Emma tells her father grimly, and for a second she thinks he'll argue. But whatever he sees in her expression has his softening, and instead he gives a tight nod.

"I'll help you."

Once again they're running, this time with more purpose. She knows exactly where to go now, no more need to rely on her heart to lead her. And that's good, because she's left her heart behind with Killian, and if she can't get his back…

She can't let herself think that way. Not now, now when everything depends on her having _hope_.

They reach Gold's shop, and of course it's blocked with magic. David curses violently, but Emma doesn't care. She reels back and kicks the door with a boot. It doesn't work, but she didn't expect it to. Her second attack comes with a punch of magic, and she feels something in the door give. Not the wood, but the magic that surrounds it. Victory swelling in her heart – _she can do this, there is no other option_ – she hits the door again. And again.

With the last attack, the magic cracks and the door flies open.

"Rumple, don't do this," is the first thing she hears. Belle's voice, pleading with the man within the Dark One that only she can see.

"Don't you see, Belle? I have to. Otherwise I'll always be a puppet to the dagger."

"Grandpa, you can't kill him!"

Emma feels her heart skip a beat, because that's Henry. Her son, and he's _here_ with the monster that would happily see Killian dead.

"You don't know him like I do, Henry. Your mother will be better off without the pirate. He's not a good man."

Emma doesn't wait to hear anymore. She charges into the back of the store, and the three inhabitants look at her in surprise. She knows she probably looks crazy – hair wild, eyes desperate – but she doesn't care about that right now.

Gold holds a heart in his hands – _Killian's heart_ – and it's surrounded by a purple glow. It's attacking the vibrant red of the organ, and Emma knows that this is what's causing Killian so much pain. This smoke that's attacking his heart.

"Miss Swan," Gold greets, as though he isn't killing the man she loves. "I wasn't expecting you."

"I'm going to kill you," she states, and she's never felt so positive of something in her whole life. Her gaze remains on the heart, never wavering.

"Emma," Belle says, and her voice is half apology, half plea. Because she loves the man within the monster.

"Would you really darken your own heart over the _pirate?" _Gold demands, the word _pirate_ said with the same disdain another might say murderer. "When he's been lying to you all along?"

"I don't believe you," Emma replies, although a trickle of doubt is in her voice, and even though she isn't looking at Gold, gaze still on the heart, she knows he's smirking at her gleefully.

"Oh, but you should. It was your pirate that sucked up the fairies I needed to be able to cleave myself from the dagger, Dearie."

"Because you made him!" Emma snarls, finally looking away from the heart. "Because you have his heart!"

"I do now," Gold agrees. "But I didn't when he sucked up the Sorcerer's Apprentice. No, that he did because he didn't want _you_ to know the truth. The truth that he was so quick to go back to his old ways when I even whispered the possibility that his hand could be cursed in his ear. Ask young Will Scarlet about his interlude with your love, you'll see that this is best for all."

Perhaps Gold's words would have had her hesitating before. And even now, she knows he's not lying – and she will be chatting with Killian about that – but whatever happened between Will and Killian, the boy is waiting with him even now, telling tales about Wonderland and comforting him as he dies.

She thinks of their date, how Killian said Gold had turned over a new leaf, given him his hand.

"I'm such an idiot," she breathes out.

"We all make mistakes, Dearie. You can thank me when I'm done for taking care of yours."

Gold turns back to his spell, as though it's all taken care of, and she'll just let him take her pirate from her.

"I'm _such_ an _idiot_!" she says again, this time her voice stronger, and Gold pauses, realizing that something is going on, something that quite possibly bodes ill for him. "He said you gave him his hand, and I should have questioned it then. When do you _ever_ do anything for free? But I was willing to believe him, to believe that you were trying to be better. For Neal and Belle… but I was an idiot. Because you'll never be a better person. You can't be. I met people like you before, addicts. They're said and pathetic, just like you. But you're dangerous, too."

"Careful, Dearie," Gold warns, and Emma can see the Imp from the Enchanted Forest, the one that sent her and Killian to his vault, in his eyes, but he doesn't scare her now. Not like he did there.

"Give me the heart, Gold," she says instead, walking towards him and the magical barrier that keeps Belle and Henry from him. "Give me the heart, and I think I'll let you survive."

"You think you could kill me?" Gold sneers.

"I don't _think_ anything," Emma replies, and as she speaks certainty echoes in her every word. She has never felt more certain of anything, than she is of the words she speaks. "I know I could. You're a sad little man with dark magic, Rumplestiltskin. You could have had it all – the most powerful magic of all. You could have had love. But you chose addiction instead. You chose this" – she waves her hand around – "and that makes you weak. So give me the heart, and you can keep all your magic. Maybe it will keep you warm at night."

Gold looks ready to kill, but his gaze darts to Belle, and so does Emma's, and tears are tracking down the brunette's face. She looks for all the world as though her heart has been shattered, and Emma feels for her. But Belle doesn't deny Emma's words, doesn't deny that Gold has lost her.

Belle is a good person, a hero, and she has fought for Gold for so very long. But even a hero has to admit when they cannot win.

"Belle," Gold says, reaching towards her, and Belle lets out a sob. Henry, sweet boy that he is, goes to her side, hugs her, and Belle lets him. Gold pulls back, his expression becoming a mask of rage, and his fingers dig into the heart, and Emma sees Killian's life flash before her eyes.

She can't let Gold do this, can't let him kill _her_ Killian.

Light illuminates them all, radiating from Emma, and she hears Gold give a surprised shout and throw his hands up. She feels panic for Killian's heart, but then she feels weight in her palms and looks down.

It's glowing a brilliant, vibrant red, lacking the darkness Emma might have expected, and it's a jolt, to realize she holds Killian's heart in the palm of her hands.

"Here," David says, and he's handing her a small black satchel. The light rescinds and Emma carefully places the heart in the bag, then holds it to her as tightly as she dares. She turns her gaze back to Gold, and he looks at her with something almost like fear.

"Touch _anyone_ in my family again, and I will destroy you, Gold," she says coldly. Gold looks at her with narrowed eyes and finally gives a hesitant nod.

"I think you may mean that, Miss Swan."

Emma doesn't reply. She turns away from him, takes her son by the shoulder. Belle hesitates for a moment, looks at Gold with absolute heartbreak, and then she follows them out. As Emma closes the door to the shop behind them, they hear a shatter as something hits the wall, and Belle winces, but continues to stare forward, expression resolute.

"I would like to come with you to the Captain," she says, and Emma can feel nothing but respect for the woman who stands there with swollen eyes but a strong voice. "I owe him an apology."

She doesn't, of course, but Emma won't stop her. She wants to make it back to Killian, to restore his heart, too badly to argue. So once again they are running. They make only the briefest pause, to drop Henry off with a frantic Regina and Mary Margaret, and to explain what has happened, then they're off again.

And there he is. Sitting up, talking to Will about who knows what. Emma doesn't care, just throws herself at him. His arms come up, embracing her tightly, and Emma never wants to let him go again.

"_Killian_!" she doesn't know if it's a greeting or a prayer, but she's never been so happy to see his smirk as she is in that moment.

"Emma," he breathes in return, burying his nose in her hair and she just rests her head on his chest, enjoying the moment of peace for a second. "Emma."

She pulls back and cradled his head in her hands, and she looks him over, looking for any sign of retained injury. If there's anything permanent… well, she still knows where Gold is. Going back and inflicting anything that remains on Killian will be easy. He clutches her again and looks over to David and Belle, who steps forward hesitantly.

"Captain-" she begins, but Killian shakes his head quickly, interrupting whatever apology Belle would give.

"Whatever he did, he did himself, Belle. You played no part in it… but me… Emma, love, I lied to you-"

"Hat that sucks in magical being and blackmail. He told us," Emma replies simply, pulling back again. His eyes are clouded, and she knows that this is where he expects her to walk away. That's her fault. She should have told him how she felt. She should have made him _understand_. She just always thought he would know, without her having to say. And that wasn't fair. "And we will be talking about that… but I'm trying something new. It's called trust. And I trust you. I do. And Killian, I thought you were going to die."

Tears track down her cheeks, the reality of what had been happening finally hitting her. She had almost lost him, forever, and he would have died never knowing. Killian raises his hand, wiping the tears away as they fell, and all she wants to do is kiss him.

"Don't cry, Emma. Not for me," he says, and hearing the words, as though he doesn't deserve her to worry for him, sparks anger in her. She _is_ angry with him, she realizes with a jolt. Because he had been going through all this alone. Would have _died_ without ever telling her, and _who the hell does he think he is_? She slams her fists into his chest, surprising both of them.

"Don't say that. Of course I'm going to cry for you! I love you, you idiotic pirate!"

It's not the confession she meant to give. She was going to give him all the flowery words he was so fond of. But they just burst out, because _he should know_. And no, it's not fair to expect that of him… but dammit! For her, she's been utterly obvious. Making eyes, as Regina would say. But he looks utterly flabbergasted, as though never in a million years would he have expected her to love him, and how can he think so little of himself?

"How could you not know that?" Emma demands, pushing his hair out of his face, because she wants to touch him and it's the perfect excuse. "You know everything else about me. When I need you, when I'm hiding something… how could you not know that I love you?"

She doesn't let Killian answer, instead pulling him in by his lapels for a kiss. Killian returns it, but once again something is wrong. This is _not_ how Killian Jones kisses, and that needs to be fixed. _Now_.

"No," she declares, shaking her head and holding him back from her. "Still not right."

She reaches down and lifts the satchel with his heart, and carefully – _oh so carefully_ – removes the heart from it. She sits there for a moment, both of them looking at the glowing red, and Killian's eyes drift to half mast, almost as though he enjoys it, the feel of his heart in her palm. But she needs it to be safe again.

"Look at it," she says, her voice soft, because this moment is just for them, not their audience. "Not a single speck of darkness."

"That's because of you," he returns, and Emma looks up and smiles at him. There they are, those beautiful words he's so good at. She wants to kiss him again, but first she needs to make sure he's whole. She presses the heart against him, returning it to its rightful place.

"Now," she says, resting her hand over his chest and feeling his heartbeat beneath her palm, relief at knowing that his heart is where it belongs making her almost giddy. "Let's try this again."

And she kissed him once more, and this time, he kisses like Killian Jones should.

**AN: So, I really loved that Emma clearly could tell something was wrong after kissing Killian in 4x09. So I had to use that. Please let me know what you think!**


End file.
